I would never back down.
I would never give in.
I would fight with my last breath.
I would fight until i had no more strength in my body.
I would not fail with this.
I would win.
...
...
...
I would have more than one bloody corner of the blanket!
About Me
- Heather
- My name's Heather(Wild Cat/Commander/Heth, depending on who's talking). I'm in 6th Year and School One, and a Second in Command. I'm not completely human. You don't want to be the one to get me out of bed in the morning, or try to push me about. And I hate socks.
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
Tuesday, 25 August 2009
Three words
The words had just slipped out, without my brain actually thinking about them. As if they had been battling to get out along, and finally had found a weakness and taken the chance!
I stiffened; suddenly the wonderful moment seemed to have vanished. The rain was still falling gently, actually more mist like than actual water droplets but the world outside of the water trailed window was still soaked through; the leaves dripped every now and again and the grass shined as it bent limply towards the earth. Nathan’s arms were still held comfortably around my middle, his chest firm under my torso as I leaned against him. But something had just shifted, like a shimmer in the air which I had never been aware of, had been flung to the side, relieving a fear which curled itself around me.
“…What did you just say?” Nathan said sharply, his arms tightened around me and he bent his head forwards to stare shocked at me. His brown eyes gazed at mine, wide and full of surprise, his mouth slightly parted.
I gulped nervously, suddenly my throat was tight and my mouth dry.
Three words. Three, little, simple words had just changed everything. Did I mean them? Should I take them back? Was the fear I felt inside of me the right reaction, or should I be cursing and hitting myself for letting them slip out?
“That’s the first time you’ve ever said that…” His voice reflected this expression, but also held upset.
Was it? My mind whirled through my memories. Yes, he was right. They had never been uttered before. But why not?! Suddenly, they felt so true, so right – why shouldn’t I say them, I was only expressing my feelings after all.
“Do you really mean it?” Now his voice was full of fear and uncertainty. Would I dare sound those words to him again?
Of course I would.
I nodded, smiling with clear belief, “I love you… Nathan I love you!”
I stiffened; suddenly the wonderful moment seemed to have vanished. The rain was still falling gently, actually more mist like than actual water droplets but the world outside of the water trailed window was still soaked through; the leaves dripped every now and again and the grass shined as it bent limply towards the earth. Nathan’s arms were still held comfortably around my middle, his chest firm under my torso as I leaned against him. But something had just shifted, like a shimmer in the air which I had never been aware of, had been flung to the side, relieving a fear which curled itself around me.
“…What did you just say?” Nathan said sharply, his arms tightened around me and he bent his head forwards to stare shocked at me. His brown eyes gazed at mine, wide and full of surprise, his mouth slightly parted.
I gulped nervously, suddenly my throat was tight and my mouth dry.
Three words. Three, little, simple words had just changed everything. Did I mean them? Should I take them back? Was the fear I felt inside of me the right reaction, or should I be cursing and hitting myself for letting them slip out?
“That’s the first time you’ve ever said that…” His voice reflected this expression, but also held upset.
Was it? My mind whirled through my memories. Yes, he was right. They had never been uttered before. But why not?! Suddenly, they felt so true, so right – why shouldn’t I say them, I was only expressing my feelings after all.
“Do you really mean it?” Now his voice was full of fear and uncertainty. Would I dare sound those words to him again?
Of course I would.
I nodded, smiling with clear belief, “I love you… Nathan I love you!”
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
childhood innocense
“Daddy?” I said carefully, watching a man on lookout intently.
“Yes Heather?” He straitened up, scythe glinting in one hand, a cut bunch of golden wheat in the other.
“He’s on watch duty isn’t he?” I pointed to the man I was watching.
“Yes,” He nodded, but raised an eyebrow at me, “Heather, remember what we said about pointing. We don’t do it do we.” But he was smiling. Daddy was never angry with me when he smiled.
“No,” I grumbled, “Well how do I show you what I’m talking about if I don’t point?!”
“You nod with your head” He reminded me, and bent again, swinging the blade through the crop again.
Chewing my bottom lip, I looked around bored, walking slowly behind daddy and picking up the bits of wheat he’d missed.
“But daddy?”
He sighed and straitened up again, “Yes?”
“Why is he on guard duty? It’s because of the silver men isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Daddy nodded to me, but looked up around the field, as if he were looking out for something.
“But daddy – oh!” I spotted a bit of wheat I’d missed on the ground and quickly picked it up, “Why do the silver people hate us?”
Daddy looked down at me, but didn’t say anything. Was he angry with me? Did I say something wrong?
“Heather, I’ll explain it to you later, when we get back home. Now though, we need to cut this wheat don’t we. How are you getting on collecting the bits I miss?”
I held out my hand to show him, and he smiled at me, “Good girl, my little wildchild!”
“But I want to know now!” I whined
He sighed again. Mummy said he did that a lot. “Not here Heather.” He wasn’t smiling now.
“Why not!?”
“Because we need to do our job first.” He said gently, and turned again to cut the stalks.
“But I want to know now!” I stamped my foot.
“No Heather.” He didn’t straighten up this time and look at me.
“Please?!”
“No. Later.”
“But I want to know NOW!” I stamped again, folding my arms.
“No Heather!”
“WANT TO KNOW NOW!” I frowned as well. Mummy did that when she argued with daddy and she always seemed to win!
“Heather, stop shouting.” The curved knife swung again.
“WANT TO KNOW NOOOOWWW!”
“Stop it!”
“NO!”
“Heather stop it now or I’ll send you back!” He turned fast.
“No you won’t!” I didn’t shout this time, though I wanted to. My voice did something funny. It sounded like a growl afterwards.
Daddy stopped looking angrily and watched me. He knelt down in front of me, his eyes flicked up and down and side to side as he looked at my face. He made me giggle.
He stopped looking worried and smiled, shaking his head, “Your right, how could I send my best little helper back.” He grabbed my sides and began to tickle me,
“DADDY – STOP IT!” I screamed at him, but I couldn’t help giggling, which seemed to make him laugh.
“Silvershed – lunch break?” Daddy’s friend called over.
Daddy stopped, grinning at me, then took me under my arms and swung me up, “What do you think, hungry little wildchild?”
I nodded hard, “Can I have some blackberries – you said I could this morning?!”
He laughed, walking through the waist high wheat, “Let’s go on a hunt for them shall we? First battling the terrors of Daddy’s pack? If its not there then I’m afraid we might have to dare ask big scary Brook?”
*********
“Heather? Those silver people?”
“Yes?” I sat on my bed. I made my legs swing, trying to make them reach the floor. Daddy sat next to me.
“What do we do when we see them?”
“We run!” I grinned at him, knowing I was right, “We run for the hole, we keep quite and say ‘Help’ to the guards at the hole.”
“Very good Heather, yes. Now why do you think we do that?”
“Because there bad people!” I knew that was right too.
He nodded, opened his mouth, but then closed it. He did it again. And again.
I giggled, “Daddy you look like a fish!”
He smiled, and did it again, making me giggle more.
“Heather,” He had stopped smiling now and I frowned at him,
“What’s wrong daddy?”
“I’m trying to think how to explain this too you without scaring you.” He leant back against my wall and I looked at him,
“Just tell me. I’m not scared Daddy.”
He half smiled this time, “I know Heather. And that’s worse…”
“I know they’ll hurt me if they catch me.” I scratched my foot.
“Heather…I think you’re old enough to know this. You go ‘up top’ with me quite a lot now…Those silver people – the ones we sometimes call Bots…they…they…” He was doing the fish thing again, but I knew I should answer him instead of giggling,
“They’ll kill me won’t they daddy…?” I felt scared saying it, and crawled to his side, hugging him.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head, “Yes.” He whispered.
“But you’ll save me won’t you Daddy?” I was sure this was right as well.
“Yes. I will. But you have to do what I say when we go ‘up top’ Heather, remember that!”
“I will – I do!”
He hugged me hard, “I know my little Wildchild, I know…Now, I think it’s about your bedtime now, don’t you?”
“NO!”
“Yes, now come on Heather…”
“NOOO!”
“Yes Heather?” He straitened up, scythe glinting in one hand, a cut bunch of golden wheat in the other.
“He’s on watch duty isn’t he?” I pointed to the man I was watching.
“Yes,” He nodded, but raised an eyebrow at me, “Heather, remember what we said about pointing. We don’t do it do we.” But he was smiling. Daddy was never angry with me when he smiled.
“No,” I grumbled, “Well how do I show you what I’m talking about if I don’t point?!”
“You nod with your head” He reminded me, and bent again, swinging the blade through the crop again.
Chewing my bottom lip, I looked around bored, walking slowly behind daddy and picking up the bits of wheat he’d missed.
“But daddy?”
He sighed and straitened up again, “Yes?”
“Why is he on guard duty? It’s because of the silver men isn’t it?”
“Yes,” Daddy nodded to me, but looked up around the field, as if he were looking out for something.
“But daddy – oh!” I spotted a bit of wheat I’d missed on the ground and quickly picked it up, “Why do the silver people hate us?”
Daddy looked down at me, but didn’t say anything. Was he angry with me? Did I say something wrong?
“Heather, I’ll explain it to you later, when we get back home. Now though, we need to cut this wheat don’t we. How are you getting on collecting the bits I miss?”
I held out my hand to show him, and he smiled at me, “Good girl, my little wildchild!”
“But I want to know now!” I whined
He sighed again. Mummy said he did that a lot. “Not here Heather.” He wasn’t smiling now.
“Why not!?”
“Because we need to do our job first.” He said gently, and turned again to cut the stalks.
“But I want to know now!” I stamped my foot.
“No Heather.” He didn’t straighten up this time and look at me.
“Please?!”
“No. Later.”
“But I want to know NOW!” I stamped again, folding my arms.
“No Heather!”
“WANT TO KNOW NOW!” I frowned as well. Mummy did that when she argued with daddy and she always seemed to win!
“Heather, stop shouting.” The curved knife swung again.
“WANT TO KNOW NOOOOWWW!”
“Stop it!”
“NO!”
“Heather stop it now or I’ll send you back!” He turned fast.
“No you won’t!” I didn’t shout this time, though I wanted to. My voice did something funny. It sounded like a growl afterwards.
Daddy stopped looking angrily and watched me. He knelt down in front of me, his eyes flicked up and down and side to side as he looked at my face. He made me giggle.
He stopped looking worried and smiled, shaking his head, “Your right, how could I send my best little helper back.” He grabbed my sides and began to tickle me,
“DADDY – STOP IT!” I screamed at him, but I couldn’t help giggling, which seemed to make him laugh.
“Silvershed – lunch break?” Daddy’s friend called over.
Daddy stopped, grinning at me, then took me under my arms and swung me up, “What do you think, hungry little wildchild?”
I nodded hard, “Can I have some blackberries – you said I could this morning?!”
He laughed, walking through the waist high wheat, “Let’s go on a hunt for them shall we? First battling the terrors of Daddy’s pack? If its not there then I’m afraid we might have to dare ask big scary Brook?”
*********
“Heather? Those silver people?”
“Yes?” I sat on my bed. I made my legs swing, trying to make them reach the floor. Daddy sat next to me.
“What do we do when we see them?”
“We run!” I grinned at him, knowing I was right, “We run for the hole, we keep quite and say ‘Help’ to the guards at the hole.”
“Very good Heather, yes. Now why do you think we do that?”
“Because there bad people!” I knew that was right too.
He nodded, opened his mouth, but then closed it. He did it again. And again.
I giggled, “Daddy you look like a fish!”
He smiled, and did it again, making me giggle more.
“Heather,” He had stopped smiling now and I frowned at him,
“What’s wrong daddy?”
“I’m trying to think how to explain this too you without scaring you.” He leant back against my wall and I looked at him,
“Just tell me. I’m not scared Daddy.”
He half smiled this time, “I know Heather. And that’s worse…”
“I know they’ll hurt me if they catch me.” I scratched my foot.
“Heather…I think you’re old enough to know this. You go ‘up top’ with me quite a lot now…Those silver people – the ones we sometimes call Bots…they…they…” He was doing the fish thing again, but I knew I should answer him instead of giggling,
“They’ll kill me won’t they daddy…?” I felt scared saying it, and crawled to his side, hugging him.
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head, “Yes.” He whispered.
“But you’ll save me won’t you Daddy?” I was sure this was right as well.
“Yes. I will. But you have to do what I say when we go ‘up top’ Heather, remember that!”
“I will – I do!”
He hugged me hard, “I know my little Wildchild, I know…Now, I think it’s about your bedtime now, don’t you?”
“NO!”
“Yes, now come on Heather…”
“NOOO!”
Nightmares
There is no room for fear or panic in our lives.
So many times have I wanted to sink down, clamp my hands over my head and beg for it to all just STOP!
But never is it seen in the day light. Never when others are around. That is when a brave face is put on, where things are forgotten and calmness can settle down on you. Perhaps it’s because in the day there are things to distract you, to take your mind off of it?
Walking down the empty and dark halls at night however, I have heard people many times, the oldest and youngest; shouting, screaming, gasping, thumps as they lash out. And the worst of all; shuddering crying.
Coming down the last few steps from the first floor to the hall, I saw the back of one person I had never imagined I would ever see upset. He was always so cheerful, so happy; laughing, messing around, bringing cheer to others, or just playing a spirit lifting tune on his pale wooden flute.
The bare floorboard my right foot was resting on gave a sharp creak.
He jumped and sprang to his feet, flying into a stance, his face lost in the darkness.
“It’s alright! It’s me Joe!” Making my palms glow softly, I brought them up to my face to bring it into sight and smiled gently, “Just me.”
He sighed, his shoulders slumping and let his fists fall back down his side, uncurling them.
“Can’t sleep?” I ventured, walking down the last few steps to be on the same level as him.
In the dim light of my still glowing hands I saw him look down at the last step we were standing on, his mouth glumly held together. He shook his head and sank to the floor, resting his legs on the cold floor of the hall and resting his elbows on his knees, his forearms hanging limply between them.
I paused, unsure of what to do. After an uneasy night I liked to walk around the empty halls, trying to ignore what had woken me and focus on other things, or make my way up to Nathan. Should I continue my wonderings, or stay to see if I could help? He hadn’t told me to go away, but he hadn’t said to stay either.
Or maybe I should just get Rosa?
“You have nightmares don’t you Heather?” Joe said plainly; bringing his head up to look at me.
Well, I had my answer now.
“Course. Everyone does.” I replied simply, bending to sit down, leaning against the wall and facing him at a right angle.
He nodded wordlessly, as if accepting something, looking back down between his arms at the floor.
“Have you ever had to fear your power Heather?”
Confused by the odd question, I asked, “Teleporting? Or my other one?”
“Both.” He said; his voice devoid of emotion again, not looking at me.
“…Sometimes.” I said honestly, “Not my teleporting, but my photokinesis – yer. It’s dangerous if I use it against a Bot.”
“But you’ve never hurt anyone with it?” His voice dipped to a whisper.
“No – but Joe.” I leant forwards away from the wall, gazing at him intently, “Neither have you!”
He chuckled darkly, surprising me. I had never heard him laugh like that before in all the years I had known him.
“You’re forgetting teleporting isn’t my real power. You remember what I was like for the first few months here.”
“Joe,” I was alarmed and scared by this new personality he seemed to have developed. Shifting along the step to sit at his side, I lay a hand on his closest shoulder, “Just because you had your power changed does not make it anything less. So what you burnt a few things – that’s in the past! You’re a teleporter now!”
He turned me finally, and chuckled in that disturbing way again, “Heather, are you forgetting that along with you, and almost the rest of our year, I gave second degree burns to!? Heck, I almost set alight to the school every day!”
“And did we ever berate you for it?!” I was getting slightly annoyed now, not to mention even more confused, “Not once did we hate you for it! Yes, we might have whimpered a bit in pain – but we never blamed you! It was obvious you couldn’t control it! Joe,” I gripped his shoulder hard, “What’s brought this on? What’s wrong?”
He was still beside me, the dark hiding his face but I could hear his shaky breathing as he fought to control his emotions. I heard him swallow hard and take in a sharp but deep breath, “I remembered something from when I was little.” He said in a rush.
“Something about your powers?”
He nodded down at his feet, “I’d forgotten about it until now. I fell down one of the stairs between the levels. I was about six. Fell onto my mum. I tried getting off her as quickly as I could but my foot was stuck in a gap behind the stairs. Her skin got so badly burnt, from me trying to get off of her and then her working my foot out. Then, probably because I couldn’t stop thinking about it before I went to sleep, I dreamt my power changed back, and I burnt down the school! People were getting trapped but I couldn’t get them out without hurting them more! And Rosa….” He was shuddering again, unable to contoinue. He turned his face away from mine, to face the wall, and I knew it was to hide the fact he was crying.
“Joe,” I said gently, I attentively put my arm around his shoulders, “Joe, you couldn’t help it. And it was just a nightmare, not real.” I gently pulled him closer, expecting for him to resist, but he leant towards me and curled up to my shoulder, chocking on sobs.
Nightmares, and memories can shake even the strongest person up; scaring them because they showed them the thing they feared most. As small children we run or shout to our parents, drawing in on simply their presence, letting them comfort us and helping us forget the horrible moment. All it takes is a kiss, a cuddle and reassurance, and we are able to forget. Growing older we develop defiance, telling ourselves we can deal with it on our own, and there is no need for such a childish display of fear. We hold it to ourselves; ignoring it and forcing it to go away, pushing it the back of our minds. Older still, we almost revert back again, seeking comfort from someone we hold close, because at that time, we are able to realize what the reason for the fright was, which can sometimes be even more forbidding.
In our lives, we may fight half of our lives, be strong and commanding, but it draws us equally close, developing friendships which will never be broken, letting us willing put ourselves in danger to help the other. Or simple help them with a fear when they are confused and on their own.
The next morning just before combat lessons, after taking Joe to Rosa for the rest of the night, Joe smiled and nodded his head to me. It was all the thanks I needed, because I had been there, and knew I would undoubtedly would again. And knew how such a small and silent jester could help.
So many times have I wanted to sink down, clamp my hands over my head and beg for it to all just STOP!
But never is it seen in the day light. Never when others are around. That is when a brave face is put on, where things are forgotten and calmness can settle down on you. Perhaps it’s because in the day there are things to distract you, to take your mind off of it?
Walking down the empty and dark halls at night however, I have heard people many times, the oldest and youngest; shouting, screaming, gasping, thumps as they lash out. And the worst of all; shuddering crying.
Coming down the last few steps from the first floor to the hall, I saw the back of one person I had never imagined I would ever see upset. He was always so cheerful, so happy; laughing, messing around, bringing cheer to others, or just playing a spirit lifting tune on his pale wooden flute.
The bare floorboard my right foot was resting on gave a sharp creak.
He jumped and sprang to his feet, flying into a stance, his face lost in the darkness.
“It’s alright! It’s me Joe!” Making my palms glow softly, I brought them up to my face to bring it into sight and smiled gently, “Just me.”
He sighed, his shoulders slumping and let his fists fall back down his side, uncurling them.
“Can’t sleep?” I ventured, walking down the last few steps to be on the same level as him.
In the dim light of my still glowing hands I saw him look down at the last step we were standing on, his mouth glumly held together. He shook his head and sank to the floor, resting his legs on the cold floor of the hall and resting his elbows on his knees, his forearms hanging limply between them.
I paused, unsure of what to do. After an uneasy night I liked to walk around the empty halls, trying to ignore what had woken me and focus on other things, or make my way up to Nathan. Should I continue my wonderings, or stay to see if I could help? He hadn’t told me to go away, but he hadn’t said to stay either.
Or maybe I should just get Rosa?
“You have nightmares don’t you Heather?” Joe said plainly; bringing his head up to look at me.
Well, I had my answer now.
“Course. Everyone does.” I replied simply, bending to sit down, leaning against the wall and facing him at a right angle.
He nodded wordlessly, as if accepting something, looking back down between his arms at the floor.
“Have you ever had to fear your power Heather?”
Confused by the odd question, I asked, “Teleporting? Or my other one?”
“Both.” He said; his voice devoid of emotion again, not looking at me.
“…Sometimes.” I said honestly, “Not my teleporting, but my photokinesis – yer. It’s dangerous if I use it against a Bot.”
“But you’ve never hurt anyone with it?” His voice dipped to a whisper.
“No – but Joe.” I leant forwards away from the wall, gazing at him intently, “Neither have you!”
He chuckled darkly, surprising me. I had never heard him laugh like that before in all the years I had known him.
“You’re forgetting teleporting isn’t my real power. You remember what I was like for the first few months here.”
“Joe,” I was alarmed and scared by this new personality he seemed to have developed. Shifting along the step to sit at his side, I lay a hand on his closest shoulder, “Just because you had your power changed does not make it anything less. So what you burnt a few things – that’s in the past! You’re a teleporter now!”
He turned me finally, and chuckled in that disturbing way again, “Heather, are you forgetting that along with you, and almost the rest of our year, I gave second degree burns to!? Heck, I almost set alight to the school every day!”
“And did we ever berate you for it?!” I was getting slightly annoyed now, not to mention even more confused, “Not once did we hate you for it! Yes, we might have whimpered a bit in pain – but we never blamed you! It was obvious you couldn’t control it! Joe,” I gripped his shoulder hard, “What’s brought this on? What’s wrong?”
He was still beside me, the dark hiding his face but I could hear his shaky breathing as he fought to control his emotions. I heard him swallow hard and take in a sharp but deep breath, “I remembered something from when I was little.” He said in a rush.
“Something about your powers?”
He nodded down at his feet, “I’d forgotten about it until now. I fell down one of the stairs between the levels. I was about six. Fell onto my mum. I tried getting off her as quickly as I could but my foot was stuck in a gap behind the stairs. Her skin got so badly burnt, from me trying to get off of her and then her working my foot out. Then, probably because I couldn’t stop thinking about it before I went to sleep, I dreamt my power changed back, and I burnt down the school! People were getting trapped but I couldn’t get them out without hurting them more! And Rosa….” He was shuddering again, unable to contoinue. He turned his face away from mine, to face the wall, and I knew it was to hide the fact he was crying.
“Joe,” I said gently, I attentively put my arm around his shoulders, “Joe, you couldn’t help it. And it was just a nightmare, not real.” I gently pulled him closer, expecting for him to resist, but he leant towards me and curled up to my shoulder, chocking on sobs.
Nightmares, and memories can shake even the strongest person up; scaring them because they showed them the thing they feared most. As small children we run or shout to our parents, drawing in on simply their presence, letting them comfort us and helping us forget the horrible moment. All it takes is a kiss, a cuddle and reassurance, and we are able to forget. Growing older we develop defiance, telling ourselves we can deal with it on our own, and there is no need for such a childish display of fear. We hold it to ourselves; ignoring it and forcing it to go away, pushing it the back of our minds. Older still, we almost revert back again, seeking comfort from someone we hold close, because at that time, we are able to realize what the reason for the fright was, which can sometimes be even more forbidding.
In our lives, we may fight half of our lives, be strong and commanding, but it draws us equally close, developing friendships which will never be broken, letting us willing put ourselves in danger to help the other. Or simple help them with a fear when they are confused and on their own.
The next morning just before combat lessons, after taking Joe to Rosa for the rest of the night, Joe smiled and nodded his head to me. It was all the thanks I needed, because I had been there, and knew I would undoubtedly would again. And knew how such a small and silent jester could help.
Thursday, 6 August 2009
Fear
I always thought I had gotten used to fear.
I was aware of it when ever I faced a Bot, but it had to be forever pushed down, knocked aside and ignored. Otherwise, there was no way you could run at them, beat them back, kill and destroy them.
Now though...
The pellet machine faced me. It grinded as it started up. Sleek, metal and shiny.
My breath hitched and caught in my throat.
My mind was completely blank.
No teleporting out of this one.
No running away. Its sweep would get me left right and centre.
No defending myself. I would be ripped to shreds.
Something clunked inside of it. The nozzle was vibrating.
I hear a faint scream, muffled as if it were on the other side of a wall.
A force slammed into me - I crashed to the ground, instinctively curling up tight on my side! Pressure and weight wrapped around my back, then shuddered. The pellets were stabbing out of the machine.
A whimper escaped me, the body behind me jerking and twitching as it was hit.
“It’s alright,” A voice breathed into my ear, arms tightened around my middle.
“Rosa!?” I gasped back, feeling her shake and twist behind me, the pellets striking her.
She shielded me from their deadly blows.
“I got you Heth,” She breathed again, wincing. She clasped one of my hands in hers comforting, “I got you.” She repeated.
Staring out across the fighting ground I saw the ground exploding as the metal balls were driven into it, earth and the little grass flying.
“You’ll have horrible bruises.” I whispered, my breath shuddery as the pellets rammed into her skin, making her body jump to and fro, but she held tight onto me, keeping me safe.
“But unlike you I won’t get ripped to shreds.” She winced.
I laughed shakily, “N-n-no need to get smart.” I jibbed, my voice stuttering in fear. I felt my body shaking in fright.
“I won’t let them hit you Heth.” She whispered softly into my ear, squeezing my clasped hand.
“...I know...”
I squeezed back.
Sometimes the fear couldn’t be ignored. Sometimes it took you over; when your worst nightmare became a reality, making you curl up and whimper like a small child.
But sometimes, there was a friend to lend a hand. And hold you tight.
To protect you.
To save you.
I was aware of it when ever I faced a Bot, but it had to be forever pushed down, knocked aside and ignored. Otherwise, there was no way you could run at them, beat them back, kill and destroy them.
Now though...
The pellet machine faced me. It grinded as it started up. Sleek, metal and shiny.
My breath hitched and caught in my throat.
My mind was completely blank.
No teleporting out of this one.
No running away. Its sweep would get me left right and centre.
No defending myself. I would be ripped to shreds.
Something clunked inside of it. The nozzle was vibrating.
I hear a faint scream, muffled as if it were on the other side of a wall.
A force slammed into me - I crashed to the ground, instinctively curling up tight on my side! Pressure and weight wrapped around my back, then shuddered. The pellets were stabbing out of the machine.
A whimper escaped me, the body behind me jerking and twitching as it was hit.
“It’s alright,” A voice breathed into my ear, arms tightened around my middle.
“Rosa!?” I gasped back, feeling her shake and twist behind me, the pellets striking her.
She shielded me from their deadly blows.
“I got you Heth,” She breathed again, wincing. She clasped one of my hands in hers comforting, “I got you.” She repeated.
Staring out across the fighting ground I saw the ground exploding as the metal balls were driven into it, earth and the little grass flying.
“You’ll have horrible bruises.” I whispered, my breath shuddery as the pellets rammed into her skin, making her body jump to and fro, but she held tight onto me, keeping me safe.
“But unlike you I won’t get ripped to shreds.” She winced.
I laughed shakily, “N-n-no need to get smart.” I jibbed, my voice stuttering in fear. I felt my body shaking in fright.
“I won’t let them hit you Heth.” She whispered softly into my ear, squeezing my clasped hand.
“...I know...”
I squeezed back.
Sometimes the fear couldn’t be ignored. Sometimes it took you over; when your worst nightmare became a reality, making you curl up and whimper like a small child.
But sometimes, there was a friend to lend a hand. And hold you tight.
To protect you.
To save you.
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
party
Everyone once and a while, usually in summer, when all you could do was stay in the shade, normally inside, the party urge got hold of a few people, which spread like a bush fire, and soon the food storages would be checked, musical people called upon and the rota for the front lines adjusted slightly, so any who did not wish to attend, would go fight.
There were very few requirements of any party organised, one being everyone help set it up, by carrying all tables and chairs outside, extra food or drink made if needed, and to come dress formal – though the younger kids could wear what they wanted, with no shoes.
The evening and night would be split into two parts, the first was for the younger children; ten to thirteen, where the evening would be more of games, contests, and best of all, done by a group of older students, enactments of the most famous battles upon a raised platform with lit torches held at the side. The second part of the party, beginning in the late evening was for anyone older, and was quite different; suits for the guys, and dresses for the girls, the band would start and there would be dancing. At the beginning it would be very proper, but then as the night wore on, it would be more wild and admittedly funnier.
The biggest problem for me though, was wearing a horrid dress.
Well, to be honest, the dresses worn were always elegant; either found in wardrobes, relics of the distance past, or made. Most of the hand made ones actually came from France, who had long rept the rewards of making them and trading them for other such things.
“We’ll see you down there Heather.” Cassie smiled softly at me, taking Rosa’s hand, who in turn grabbed Lara, and they swung out of the door way into the corridor, grinning with excitement.
Cassie’s dress was a golden yellow; the top a tight fitting strapless corset made from cotton material, then the bottom a mass of golden strips, silk and cotton, which fell to above her knees. Lara, who was rather good with styling hair, had pulled her dirty blonde hair into a bun, but left wisps hang down, along with a section at the front, which Cassie had painstakingly painted small daisies onto – she’d found some old paints – and had then proceeded to paint them around her ankle and up one of her legs.
Rosa’s dress was a deep turquoise blue, made of a shimmery material, which rippled with movement, sending silver waves over the blue. It had small thin straps, and the bottom was straight, but had a long slit up one side which had small white embodied butterflies which flew from around that, around her waist and up the back, which was pulled together with a long white ribbon. Her hair was pinned up, with two point ended sticks standing through it, made for her by Nathan who had traded something of hers for – though neither would show or tell me what.
Lara’s dress was a deep purple, strapless like Cassie’s, but made with many floaty layers which lifted and jumped with every step. Like Rosa’s, hers had a slit up the side. Her hair was down, with loose playful curls at the end, matching purple streaks running through it, curtsy of Dan.
I looked at mine lied out on the bed in front of me. It looked pretty, very pretty in fact. But…dresses were so…revealing? Movement constricting? Mum had tried to make me wear them as a small child, and no doubt succeeded when I was too small to pull them off, and after that I had stuck to shorts and t-shirts.
The last time I had worn one was at my dad’s funeral, long, black, and shapeless. I tore it off, ripping it along one of the hems as soon as I reached home and my room.
Hearing a small jiggering tune drift up from outside, through the bright window, I gritted my teeth and resolved myself to an uncomfortable evening and night.
**********
The music had picked up pace as I teleported into the hall; the huge oak doors were thrown wide open, the room being filled with the light of the setting sun, falling right in line with the doors. The heat was lowering slightly from the unbearable level, and now it was more humid, the air thick.
Holding up an arm to shield my eyes from the bright light, I stepped forwards, feeling the dry and sharp grass under my feet.
The party was being held on the right of the school, tables and chairs set in a huge circle, save one gap so people access the middle, which was left empty for dancing. On the far edge, behind everything else, was a raised platform housing a number of musical instruments with their players, who were playing with enthusiasm and joy.
Already most people were there, and any who weren’t were walking around me; all the girls in around knee length dresses and the boys dressed smartly in trousers, white shirts and breeches – it was far too hot for jackets. A fair number sported hats or caps, matching the colour of their trousers. More than half of the number was dancing merrily, paired, and turning round and round as they skipped along, bending to either side, hands clasped and laughing.
I tried to spot my friends, but the crowd was too thick. Feeling nervous, as if I were about to jump over the trenches at the front lines, I took a seat at an empty table and watched the dancers; my fellow in command Clay was doing a small tap dance on the corner of the performers platform to the loud applause of his audience. I saw Flissy, in a white and pink dress, dragging a boy to his feet and into the dancers, her laugh lost in the mass.
“May I have this dance with you?”
Turning and smiling at the familiar voice, I aw Nathan; his trousers were a dark deep green, as well as his breeches, matching my dress, his shirt collarless and the top button left undone. He held out hand out to me, his other behind his back, bowing slightly.
Blushing, but feeling the nerves starting to wash away, I took his hand – he held it high and twirled me,
“Well,” He said softly, “I think ‘wildcat’ is a little harsh for you tonight, I think it shall have to be replaced with a less fierce, and more beautiful animal.”
“Oh shut up,” I felt the blush become more prominent, “I feel ridiculous, all plushed up like this!”
He raised an eyebrow at me, his smile faltering slightly, but not failing, “To me, you look like a rose upon daisies, and,” He took his other hand out from behind his back where he had held it, “I suppose you don’t want this?”
He opened his hand, palm up, and I couldn’t help but gasp,
There lay, sparkling in the setting sun, a piled of silver line, like on a necklace, but under it all I could see that it curled into a circle at each end, small tear shaped green drops of some stone hanging from one thin silver chain below them.
“That’s…” I faltered, thinking of no words at the astonishment of Nathan giving me something like this.
“It’s not a necklace,” Nathan said, smiling at my shocked face, “I’m not even sure what it’s proper name is; you remember when Andrew surprisenly let me, Cassie, Rosa, Joe and Lara on the last trading trip to Germany? Well, while you were running stuff here and there, we went to their underground homes,” He started to untangle the mess of silver chains, “Much the same to ours, and we found a jewellers stall – A friend of mine told me about it ages ago - and we all traded something in for this,”
He had fully untangled it now, in the middle there was a dipping row of three silver chains, the top the longest and getting shorter as they went down. They all linked together at the ends, curling in a flat circle, with the single thin chain with the beads of green stones hanging.
“A birthday gift,” He smiled, motioning me to turn around, “If I can just get them to clip…” He muttered, and I realized there were small hidden clips under the flat circles of chain. I grinned, now knowing why Lara had plaited the sides of my hair up. In the ends of the plait, Nathan now clipped the strange piece of jewellery, where it hung down the rest of my hair.
“Rosa was keeping it hidden,” He said as I turned back to face him, bring a hand up to try and feel the new addition, “She gave it to me while I gave her those wooden sticks, so it didn’t look like I was giving her something for nothing.”
“It’s…beautiful.” I breathed, “Thank you!”
He took my hand, “Now, are you ready to dance?”
Laughing, I pulled him to the throng.
*********
We whirl and skipped and danced, laughter was filling everyone, old arguments forgotten, manors in full display and the jolly whistling tune, deep drum beat and other instruments never letting up.
There were very few requirements of any party organised, one being everyone help set it up, by carrying all tables and chairs outside, extra food or drink made if needed, and to come dress formal – though the younger kids could wear what they wanted, with no shoes.
The evening and night would be split into two parts, the first was for the younger children; ten to thirteen, where the evening would be more of games, contests, and best of all, done by a group of older students, enactments of the most famous battles upon a raised platform with lit torches held at the side. The second part of the party, beginning in the late evening was for anyone older, and was quite different; suits for the guys, and dresses for the girls, the band would start and there would be dancing. At the beginning it would be very proper, but then as the night wore on, it would be more wild and admittedly funnier.
The biggest problem for me though, was wearing a horrid dress.
Well, to be honest, the dresses worn were always elegant; either found in wardrobes, relics of the distance past, or made. Most of the hand made ones actually came from France, who had long rept the rewards of making them and trading them for other such things.
“We’ll see you down there Heather.” Cassie smiled softly at me, taking Rosa’s hand, who in turn grabbed Lara, and they swung out of the door way into the corridor, grinning with excitement.
Cassie’s dress was a golden yellow; the top a tight fitting strapless corset made from cotton material, then the bottom a mass of golden strips, silk and cotton, which fell to above her knees. Lara, who was rather good with styling hair, had pulled her dirty blonde hair into a bun, but left wisps hang down, along with a section at the front, which Cassie had painstakingly painted small daisies onto – she’d found some old paints – and had then proceeded to paint them around her ankle and up one of her legs.
Rosa’s dress was a deep turquoise blue, made of a shimmery material, which rippled with movement, sending silver waves over the blue. It had small thin straps, and the bottom was straight, but had a long slit up one side which had small white embodied butterflies which flew from around that, around her waist and up the back, which was pulled together with a long white ribbon. Her hair was pinned up, with two point ended sticks standing through it, made for her by Nathan who had traded something of hers for – though neither would show or tell me what.
Lara’s dress was a deep purple, strapless like Cassie’s, but made with many floaty layers which lifted and jumped with every step. Like Rosa’s, hers had a slit up the side. Her hair was down, with loose playful curls at the end, matching purple streaks running through it, curtsy of Dan.
I looked at mine lied out on the bed in front of me. It looked pretty, very pretty in fact. But…dresses were so…revealing? Movement constricting? Mum had tried to make me wear them as a small child, and no doubt succeeded when I was too small to pull them off, and after that I had stuck to shorts and t-shirts.
The last time I had worn one was at my dad’s funeral, long, black, and shapeless. I tore it off, ripping it along one of the hems as soon as I reached home and my room.
Hearing a small jiggering tune drift up from outside, through the bright window, I gritted my teeth and resolved myself to an uncomfortable evening and night.
**********
The music had picked up pace as I teleported into the hall; the huge oak doors were thrown wide open, the room being filled with the light of the setting sun, falling right in line with the doors. The heat was lowering slightly from the unbearable level, and now it was more humid, the air thick.
Holding up an arm to shield my eyes from the bright light, I stepped forwards, feeling the dry and sharp grass under my feet.
The party was being held on the right of the school, tables and chairs set in a huge circle, save one gap so people access the middle, which was left empty for dancing. On the far edge, behind everything else, was a raised platform housing a number of musical instruments with their players, who were playing with enthusiasm and joy.
Already most people were there, and any who weren’t were walking around me; all the girls in around knee length dresses and the boys dressed smartly in trousers, white shirts and breeches – it was far too hot for jackets. A fair number sported hats or caps, matching the colour of their trousers. More than half of the number was dancing merrily, paired, and turning round and round as they skipped along, bending to either side, hands clasped and laughing.
I tried to spot my friends, but the crowd was too thick. Feeling nervous, as if I were about to jump over the trenches at the front lines, I took a seat at an empty table and watched the dancers; my fellow in command Clay was doing a small tap dance on the corner of the performers platform to the loud applause of his audience. I saw Flissy, in a white and pink dress, dragging a boy to his feet and into the dancers, her laugh lost in the mass.
“May I have this dance with you?”
Turning and smiling at the familiar voice, I aw Nathan; his trousers were a dark deep green, as well as his breeches, matching my dress, his shirt collarless and the top button left undone. He held out hand out to me, his other behind his back, bowing slightly.
Blushing, but feeling the nerves starting to wash away, I took his hand – he held it high and twirled me,
“Well,” He said softly, “I think ‘wildcat’ is a little harsh for you tonight, I think it shall have to be replaced with a less fierce, and more beautiful animal.”
“Oh shut up,” I felt the blush become more prominent, “I feel ridiculous, all plushed up like this!”
He raised an eyebrow at me, his smile faltering slightly, but not failing, “To me, you look like a rose upon daisies, and,” He took his other hand out from behind his back where he had held it, “I suppose you don’t want this?”
He opened his hand, palm up, and I couldn’t help but gasp,
There lay, sparkling in the setting sun, a piled of silver line, like on a necklace, but under it all I could see that it curled into a circle at each end, small tear shaped green drops of some stone hanging from one thin silver chain below them.
“That’s…” I faltered, thinking of no words at the astonishment of Nathan giving me something like this.
“It’s not a necklace,” Nathan said, smiling at my shocked face, “I’m not even sure what it’s proper name is; you remember when Andrew surprisenly let me, Cassie, Rosa, Joe and Lara on the last trading trip to Germany? Well, while you were running stuff here and there, we went to their underground homes,” He started to untangle the mess of silver chains, “Much the same to ours, and we found a jewellers stall – A friend of mine told me about it ages ago - and we all traded something in for this,”
He had fully untangled it now, in the middle there was a dipping row of three silver chains, the top the longest and getting shorter as they went down. They all linked together at the ends, curling in a flat circle, with the single thin chain with the beads of green stones hanging.
“A birthday gift,” He smiled, motioning me to turn around, “If I can just get them to clip…” He muttered, and I realized there were small hidden clips under the flat circles of chain. I grinned, now knowing why Lara had plaited the sides of my hair up. In the ends of the plait, Nathan now clipped the strange piece of jewellery, where it hung down the rest of my hair.
“Rosa was keeping it hidden,” He said as I turned back to face him, bring a hand up to try and feel the new addition, “She gave it to me while I gave her those wooden sticks, so it didn’t look like I was giving her something for nothing.”
“It’s…beautiful.” I breathed, “Thank you!”
He took my hand, “Now, are you ready to dance?”
Laughing, I pulled him to the throng.
*********
We whirl and skipped and danced, laughter was filling everyone, old arguments forgotten, manors in full display and the jolly whistling tune, deep drum beat and other instruments never letting up.
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Raiding Morning
The rain falling in a fine mist; gently obscuring the outlines of the woods. The fire hissed, as it were warding the water off, as it fell into it and smoke filtered up, fading into the air.
From where I was sitting, on the last shift of night watch duty, I could see the layout of the camp clearly, along with the trees behind it and the back of a fellow on night watch. The mass of sleeping people were in a circle around the dying fire, pack tightly together for warm, a sea of dark blankets, mops of hair and the odd limb which had escaped their covers.
I liked this early morning shift the best – if I was ever woken up in time for it. It was when everyone was truly asleep that friendship could be seen; in a huddle Joe and Rosa were sleeping one behind the other, Rosa using Joe’s shoulder as a pillow and her in turn her head. Under the covers his arms were holding her close and I could easily guess their hands would be clasped.
Next to Rosa lay Cassie; she had actually wrapped her long dirty blonde hair around her neck to keep the chill out. Her elbow cushioned her head and the other curled under her. Her body seemed to be half leaning against Rosa, but there was no sign that either had minded.
Dawn lay on her side, facing the other three, curved, one leg up to her chest, the other lay straight. Her arms were curled to her chest. She looked like she was protecting herself, even in sleep, not quite part of the group, but close.
Lara and Ellie’s shapes were on the other side of the mass of people, their backs to me, but I would bet they too were sleeping side by side for warm.
A movement caught my notice and my eyes darted to it, but I had nothing to worry about; my boyfriend was just coming from the woods, his dark green jumper dark with the rain, the same for his trousers which also had clumps of seeds he had walked through. Making his way around the sleeping group, he finally reached the base of the tree I was perching in. Glancing up he called louder than I thought he needed to,
“Lend me a hand?”
“Nathan!” I called.
White and yellow lights flashed into existence around him, spinning into a whirlwind of colours. In a second the same lights burst into life at my side, and then vanished, revealing Nathan.
“So, how’d your scouting go?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He mumbled moodily, “Just got rained on.”
I gave him a sad smile and linked my fingers with his, “No bots though – that’s good”
He made a disgruntled sound of agreement, and stared into the trees dripping opposite, glowering.
“What’s up?” I asked after a few minutes silence which seemed louder than any thunderstorm.
He didn’t answer at first, and I thought he was going to ignore me, going to ask again, slightly annoyed, but he spoke,
“It’s this bloody rain!” He fumed, “It never seems to stop! It soaks through everything eventually – I have no dry clothes left and I am covered in THOUSANDS of seeds!”
I stared at him in shock, not moving an inch, at a wonder to what had brought on this unusual outburst – he was normally calmed and controlled!
“I mean!” He carried on, now getting into a full stride, turning to me, “We’ve come all this way to that damn hospital – and there’s NOTHING there! We came all this way – IN THE RAIN! And there’s nothing here! AND NOW ANDREW WANTS US TO GO TO ANOTHER ONE!”
“Be quite!” I scowled him, holding up a finger, “You’ll wake up everyone!”
“I DON’T CARE!” He yelled back
“WELL I DO!” I grabbed his arm, and swirled down to the ground.
He stumbled for a second, then glared at me, but I held up a finger again, “NO!” taking his arm I pulled him through the sleeping forms and over to the fire. Shoving him in the chests, he fell over.
Stocking the fire back into life – well as much as was possible with damp and mouldy wood I watched him out the corner of my eye; he looked utterly dishevel, sitting there in damp clothes, his hair flat on his head which was hanging down glumly.
Teleporting a few blankets to us and laying one out, I sat down, and pulled him over to me so he leant against my front, the rain still falling gently.
“You have to stay on night watch duty.” He said almost reproachfully, trying to pull away.
“Stay!” I ordered, giving him a glare, “Clay would have seen us go, he can cover me.”
He sighed and leant back again, the fire beginning to cast a glow on his skin.
We sat, him sitting against me, our hands in his lap, entwined, the rain fell and the fire spluttered into life, spreading a warmth to us. Everyone slept around us, but we stayed awake, just watching all around us together, contented to let the brooding fade away, as it always eventually did.
From where I was sitting, on the last shift of night watch duty, I could see the layout of the camp clearly, along with the trees behind it and the back of a fellow on night watch. The mass of sleeping people were in a circle around the dying fire, pack tightly together for warm, a sea of dark blankets, mops of hair and the odd limb which had escaped their covers.
I liked this early morning shift the best – if I was ever woken up in time for it. It was when everyone was truly asleep that friendship could be seen; in a huddle Joe and Rosa were sleeping one behind the other, Rosa using Joe’s shoulder as a pillow and her in turn her head. Under the covers his arms were holding her close and I could easily guess their hands would be clasped.
Next to Rosa lay Cassie; she had actually wrapped her long dirty blonde hair around her neck to keep the chill out. Her elbow cushioned her head and the other curled under her. Her body seemed to be half leaning against Rosa, but there was no sign that either had minded.
Dawn lay on her side, facing the other three, curved, one leg up to her chest, the other lay straight. Her arms were curled to her chest. She looked like she was protecting herself, even in sleep, not quite part of the group, but close.
Lara and Ellie’s shapes were on the other side of the mass of people, their backs to me, but I would bet they too were sleeping side by side for warm.
A movement caught my notice and my eyes darted to it, but I had nothing to worry about; my boyfriend was just coming from the woods, his dark green jumper dark with the rain, the same for his trousers which also had clumps of seeds he had walked through. Making his way around the sleeping group, he finally reached the base of the tree I was perching in. Glancing up he called louder than I thought he needed to,
“Lend me a hand?”
“Nathan!” I called.
White and yellow lights flashed into existence around him, spinning into a whirlwind of colours. In a second the same lights burst into life at my side, and then vanished, revealing Nathan.
“So, how’d your scouting go?” I asked.
“Nothing.” He mumbled moodily, “Just got rained on.”
I gave him a sad smile and linked my fingers with his, “No bots though – that’s good”
He made a disgruntled sound of agreement, and stared into the trees dripping opposite, glowering.
“What’s up?” I asked after a few minutes silence which seemed louder than any thunderstorm.
He didn’t answer at first, and I thought he was going to ignore me, going to ask again, slightly annoyed, but he spoke,
“It’s this bloody rain!” He fumed, “It never seems to stop! It soaks through everything eventually – I have no dry clothes left and I am covered in THOUSANDS of seeds!”
I stared at him in shock, not moving an inch, at a wonder to what had brought on this unusual outburst – he was normally calmed and controlled!
“I mean!” He carried on, now getting into a full stride, turning to me, “We’ve come all this way to that damn hospital – and there’s NOTHING there! We came all this way – IN THE RAIN! And there’s nothing here! AND NOW ANDREW WANTS US TO GO TO ANOTHER ONE!”
“Be quite!” I scowled him, holding up a finger, “You’ll wake up everyone!”
“I DON’T CARE!” He yelled back
“WELL I DO!” I grabbed his arm, and swirled down to the ground.
He stumbled for a second, then glared at me, but I held up a finger again, “NO!” taking his arm I pulled him through the sleeping forms and over to the fire. Shoving him in the chests, he fell over.
Stocking the fire back into life – well as much as was possible with damp and mouldy wood I watched him out the corner of my eye; he looked utterly dishevel, sitting there in damp clothes, his hair flat on his head which was hanging down glumly.
Teleporting a few blankets to us and laying one out, I sat down, and pulled him over to me so he leant against my front, the rain still falling gently.
“You have to stay on night watch duty.” He said almost reproachfully, trying to pull away.
“Stay!” I ordered, giving him a glare, “Clay would have seen us go, he can cover me.”
He sighed and leant back again, the fire beginning to cast a glow on his skin.
We sat, him sitting against me, our hands in his lap, entwined, the rain fell and the fire spluttered into life, spreading a warmth to us. Everyone slept around us, but we stayed awake, just watching all around us together, contented to let the brooding fade away, as it always eventually did.
Monday, 25 May 2009
trenches part 3
We ate in quiet, more faint explosions reaching our ears, the sky lighting occasionally, as if the sun was having a battle and trying to come back up. As I finished eating and put my plate on the ground before me, I listened; the popping sounds of the pellet machines audible.
There was little to do once the food was eaten; gratefully leaving Nathan to clean up the utensils, me and Joe transported the rest to the wash up area. It was split into two parts, a thick section of earth wall protruding into the roughly square area. The closest to the entrance was used by the teleporters – I’d been there several times already. Five people stood in a circle with buckets of water, the teleport would run to the middle, the buckets would be throw from all the different directions, water hurling into the person. It served to wash off the metal gas the Bots were more and more frequently, somehow, letting into the air, stopping us teleporting.
The second half of the place was used by everyone in the trenches; a trough of water at one end which hands or feet could be washed in. Several lines with attached lengths of material had been strung from the top of the earth trenches to form crude curtains and people crouched over head, buckets at the ready. All people had to do was strip to their underwear, and rubbed the mud and grime off as the water was thrown over them.
In winter the act was abandoned; the freezing weather making it impossible unless you wanted to suffer a cold or pneumonia afterwards. People just had to go dirty for their time on the front lines – disgusting, but better than dying of cold.
Once back in our area, we returned to the not necessarily wanted warmth, but comfort of the fire and settled down; sometimes there was time when you were so shattered, all you would do was crawl under a blanket and fall asleep, but then again it was nice to split the cycle up of fighting, eating, sleeping, fighting, eating, sleeping.
Dawn lay on her front, a light coloured paperback book a few inches from her nose, her eyes shifting across the page as she took in the small print, her ankles crossed in the air and swaying backwards and forwards slightly.
Cassie too was reading, though she sat cross legged, facing the fire, a much thicker book than Dawn’s in her lap, her loose hair falling around her face and hiding her features, her head resting on one curled hand.
Joe sat against the earth wall, flute to his lips playing a soft tune, not like his usual jaunty one, his eyes trained on the flames of the fire, lost in though, Rosa leaning against his side, mirroring Joe’s posture by having her legs splayed on flat, singing along quietly to the melody of the flute, staring up into the night stars.
Nathan was busy tracing the outline of something on a light block of wood, his sharp knife reflecting the fire light. He sat leaning against the wall like Joe, but with his legs crossed, his hands held close to his eyes, his jaw firm and watching his activity intently. I had never understood how he could look at a block of wood, begin to chip away little bits, taking a scrape off there, a nick on the other side, and a form would begin to be visible, wither a animal, or small wooden pendant to put on a necklace.
Rarely I would attempt to read a book, but I had yet to actually finish one. I personally blamed my ears – they just seemed to pick up all other noises around, never letting me really get into the story. Tonight, I preferred to wrap a blanket around me, lay close to Nathan, and close my eyes, listening to the small noises of my friends around me and the flute and the song. I thought back to memories; some happy, some sad, confused and lost - most of times I had forgotten – the little snippets which help make up a day but are easily lost.
As the night grew on, the others put down their occupations and joined me on the ground, all merging together in a mass. It wasn’t cold, well not at least to justify doing the action for warmth, but like the fire, it was more out of comfort than heat.
I lay my head on Nathan’s stomach and curled to face him in the glow of the firelight, taking a strong arm and wrapping mine around it. Pulling my legs up to my chest, I placed one slightly in front of the other, and Cassie rested her head on the furthest one back, Dawn behind her, Joe and Rosa laying together on Nathan’s other side.
I felt a hand pull lightly at a width of hair and Nathan’s fingers twirled it around. I smiled, sure that he would see it. He would fiddle with my hair back at the school in the dorm, his or mine, when we wanted company and went to the other, not always when he was nervous, but when he was not quiet ready to sleep.
Yawning, I closed my eyes against the night and tried to block out the sounds of fighting and wildlife. The nights on the front lines always seemed daunting If it was your first time, but gradually it became easier and easier. It helped to focus on the things around you as such as the wind, the crackling of a fire, or the breathing of friends.
“Did you lose anyone today?”
I groaned, “Nathan,” I mumbled, “I was so close to falling asleep then!”
“Well everyone else has drifted off, and well…we won’t get a chance to talk on our own for ages.” I felt him lightly twirling a strand of my hair.
I forced myself to wake up a bit; blinking hard. I knew he was right. If fact if I hadn’t pleaded so hard with Andrew anyway, Nathan wouldn’t be on the front lines at all, rather out in a raiding party. It may have seemed the wrong thing to ask for, but what with Front lines, then me going on a raid the day after we would get back to the school, then a trading mission, there wasn’t going to be a lot of time to be with him.
“Sorry.” I apologized, taking his free hand in mine, feeling the rough fingertips curtsy of all the whittling he did.
“Don’t worry my wildcat.” He said and I knew he was smiling, “So, what happened out there?” His voice was soft but never the less I found it slightly demeaning, knowing he was really asking why my legs had been shaking.
“Everyone’s shake – not just mine!” I said defensibly, glancing up at him with a frown.
“But I’m asking why yours were.” He meet and held my gaze, his fingers stopping their playing through my hair.
Turning my head I went back to staring over his stomach, clenching my teeth for a moment before saying, “We had to re-treat,” I found it hard to talk.
“Ohh…” He sighed, understanding. He paused for a moment, his fingers starting up again, “You know Heather, there’s nothing bad about having to retreat from them – it shows a good decision; that you weren’t going to risk fighting against a too larger number of them.”
“That’s not the point!” I snapped, glaring into the earth mount as if it had personally done me a wrong, “Running away from them means there still around and able to hurt people!”
He sighed again, “But it’s not just that is it?”
I didn’t answer, gritting my teeth shut.
“You don’t have to hide fear with anger,” He whispered. He drew his arms around me and pulled me further up his torso, so that I was on his chest instead of his stomach, “Its scary having to turn your back on them, that was what was wrong wasn’t it?”
I curled a hand into his jumper material and buried my face closer to his body, feeling the fear wash through me again, “They chased us for ages – I could hear them crashing around behind us and they were getting closer and closer! I yelled at the others to run faster but we couldn’t! And I was covered in that metal gas stuff from when the released it just after midday, so I couldn’t just swirl us all out of there!”
“So what did you do? You were out in the woodland area in the east weren’t you?”
I nodded, “We were just before one of the small streams there, and I knew we couldn’t outrun them, so I called for a halt then motioned them to get in the trees. We managed to hide in the foliage just before they reached us. They kept running on, and I thought they’d gone, but then we heard them coming back. I don’t know how they knew – maybe because they couldn’t see or hear us anymore, but they came back and started walking around near us.”
“From the sun I guess we stayed there about an hour, with them walking around underneath us. Then one of the branches creaked a person was standing on – and the Bots looked up. I swear, I have never…” My breath seemed to catch in my chest and I couldn’t go on.
Nathan gripped my hand tightly, “I know how you felt – about a year ago the group I was in had to do exactly that. They stare at you don’t they, just standing underneath you and looking up.”
I nodded shakily, “It’s the stare that does it. They know they can’t reach you, but they just stand there and stare – and wait. I yelled for Andrew and he sent someone. They brought buckets of water and chucked them over me and the others to get the gas stuff off, then we teleported back to just in front of the trenches.”
“Oh that odd sense thing he’s got?” Nathan asked.
“That’s it – can’t remember what its called though. But yer – he must have kinder sensed me through that and knew what was happening”
We laid in silence for a minute, both going through our past experiences. It went against everything we had been taught from the ages of ten to turn and run from Bots – to turn your back on them and present your neck, the most easiest way for them to kill you.
There was little to do once the food was eaten; gratefully leaving Nathan to clean up the utensils, me and Joe transported the rest to the wash up area. It was split into two parts, a thick section of earth wall protruding into the roughly square area. The closest to the entrance was used by the teleporters – I’d been there several times already. Five people stood in a circle with buckets of water, the teleport would run to the middle, the buckets would be throw from all the different directions, water hurling into the person. It served to wash off the metal gas the Bots were more and more frequently, somehow, letting into the air, stopping us teleporting.
The second half of the place was used by everyone in the trenches; a trough of water at one end which hands or feet could be washed in. Several lines with attached lengths of material had been strung from the top of the earth trenches to form crude curtains and people crouched over head, buckets at the ready. All people had to do was strip to their underwear, and rubbed the mud and grime off as the water was thrown over them.
In winter the act was abandoned; the freezing weather making it impossible unless you wanted to suffer a cold or pneumonia afterwards. People just had to go dirty for their time on the front lines – disgusting, but better than dying of cold.
Once back in our area, we returned to the not necessarily wanted warmth, but comfort of the fire and settled down; sometimes there was time when you were so shattered, all you would do was crawl under a blanket and fall asleep, but then again it was nice to split the cycle up of fighting, eating, sleeping, fighting, eating, sleeping.
Dawn lay on her front, a light coloured paperback book a few inches from her nose, her eyes shifting across the page as she took in the small print, her ankles crossed in the air and swaying backwards and forwards slightly.
Cassie too was reading, though she sat cross legged, facing the fire, a much thicker book than Dawn’s in her lap, her loose hair falling around her face and hiding her features, her head resting on one curled hand.
Joe sat against the earth wall, flute to his lips playing a soft tune, not like his usual jaunty one, his eyes trained on the flames of the fire, lost in though, Rosa leaning against his side, mirroring Joe’s posture by having her legs splayed on flat, singing along quietly to the melody of the flute, staring up into the night stars.
Nathan was busy tracing the outline of something on a light block of wood, his sharp knife reflecting the fire light. He sat leaning against the wall like Joe, but with his legs crossed, his hands held close to his eyes, his jaw firm and watching his activity intently. I had never understood how he could look at a block of wood, begin to chip away little bits, taking a scrape off there, a nick on the other side, and a form would begin to be visible, wither a animal, or small wooden pendant to put on a necklace.
Rarely I would attempt to read a book, but I had yet to actually finish one. I personally blamed my ears – they just seemed to pick up all other noises around, never letting me really get into the story. Tonight, I preferred to wrap a blanket around me, lay close to Nathan, and close my eyes, listening to the small noises of my friends around me and the flute and the song. I thought back to memories; some happy, some sad, confused and lost - most of times I had forgotten – the little snippets which help make up a day but are easily lost.
As the night grew on, the others put down their occupations and joined me on the ground, all merging together in a mass. It wasn’t cold, well not at least to justify doing the action for warmth, but like the fire, it was more out of comfort than heat.
I lay my head on Nathan’s stomach and curled to face him in the glow of the firelight, taking a strong arm and wrapping mine around it. Pulling my legs up to my chest, I placed one slightly in front of the other, and Cassie rested her head on the furthest one back, Dawn behind her, Joe and Rosa laying together on Nathan’s other side.
I felt a hand pull lightly at a width of hair and Nathan’s fingers twirled it around. I smiled, sure that he would see it. He would fiddle with my hair back at the school in the dorm, his or mine, when we wanted company and went to the other, not always when he was nervous, but when he was not quiet ready to sleep.
Yawning, I closed my eyes against the night and tried to block out the sounds of fighting and wildlife. The nights on the front lines always seemed daunting If it was your first time, but gradually it became easier and easier. It helped to focus on the things around you as such as the wind, the crackling of a fire, or the breathing of friends.
“Did you lose anyone today?”
I groaned, “Nathan,” I mumbled, “I was so close to falling asleep then!”
“Well everyone else has drifted off, and well…we won’t get a chance to talk on our own for ages.” I felt him lightly twirling a strand of my hair.
I forced myself to wake up a bit; blinking hard. I knew he was right. If fact if I hadn’t pleaded so hard with Andrew anyway, Nathan wouldn’t be on the front lines at all, rather out in a raiding party. It may have seemed the wrong thing to ask for, but what with Front lines, then me going on a raid the day after we would get back to the school, then a trading mission, there wasn’t going to be a lot of time to be with him.
“Sorry.” I apologized, taking his free hand in mine, feeling the rough fingertips curtsy of all the whittling he did.
“Don’t worry my wildcat.” He said and I knew he was smiling, “So, what happened out there?” His voice was soft but never the less I found it slightly demeaning, knowing he was really asking why my legs had been shaking.
“Everyone’s shake – not just mine!” I said defensibly, glancing up at him with a frown.
“But I’m asking why yours were.” He meet and held my gaze, his fingers stopping their playing through my hair.
Turning my head I went back to staring over his stomach, clenching my teeth for a moment before saying, “We had to re-treat,” I found it hard to talk.
“Ohh…” He sighed, understanding. He paused for a moment, his fingers starting up again, “You know Heather, there’s nothing bad about having to retreat from them – it shows a good decision; that you weren’t going to risk fighting against a too larger number of them.”
“That’s not the point!” I snapped, glaring into the earth mount as if it had personally done me a wrong, “Running away from them means there still around and able to hurt people!”
He sighed again, “But it’s not just that is it?”
I didn’t answer, gritting my teeth shut.
“You don’t have to hide fear with anger,” He whispered. He drew his arms around me and pulled me further up his torso, so that I was on his chest instead of his stomach, “Its scary having to turn your back on them, that was what was wrong wasn’t it?”
I curled a hand into his jumper material and buried my face closer to his body, feeling the fear wash through me again, “They chased us for ages – I could hear them crashing around behind us and they were getting closer and closer! I yelled at the others to run faster but we couldn’t! And I was covered in that metal gas stuff from when the released it just after midday, so I couldn’t just swirl us all out of there!”
“So what did you do? You were out in the woodland area in the east weren’t you?”
I nodded, “We were just before one of the small streams there, and I knew we couldn’t outrun them, so I called for a halt then motioned them to get in the trees. We managed to hide in the foliage just before they reached us. They kept running on, and I thought they’d gone, but then we heard them coming back. I don’t know how they knew – maybe because they couldn’t see or hear us anymore, but they came back and started walking around near us.”
“From the sun I guess we stayed there about an hour, with them walking around underneath us. Then one of the branches creaked a person was standing on – and the Bots looked up. I swear, I have never…” My breath seemed to catch in my chest and I couldn’t go on.
Nathan gripped my hand tightly, “I know how you felt – about a year ago the group I was in had to do exactly that. They stare at you don’t they, just standing underneath you and looking up.”
I nodded shakily, “It’s the stare that does it. They know they can’t reach you, but they just stand there and stare – and wait. I yelled for Andrew and he sent someone. They brought buckets of water and chucked them over me and the others to get the gas stuff off, then we teleported back to just in front of the trenches.”
“Oh that odd sense thing he’s got?” Nathan asked.
“That’s it – can’t remember what its called though. But yer – he must have kinder sensed me through that and knew what was happening”
We laid in silence for a minute, both going through our past experiences. It went against everything we had been taught from the ages of ten to turn and run from Bots – to turn your back on them and present your neck, the most easiest way for them to kill you.
trenches part 2
The bacon was frying nicely – despite Rosa’s lunged attempt to grab the pan and cook it herself, and the bunch of us waited patiently, not talking, but thinking calmly, reflecting.
I gazed up at the stars overhead, shinning brightly in the clear dark sky. They strewed for as far as I could see, seeing so close, but yet so far at the same time, crushing the feeling of smallness of my mind. Blinking in wonder I realized that humans had actually managed to visits some of those, the bright lights hiding the fact they were lone planets hanging in space, that we had stretched our fingers that far seemed impossible.
Someone smoothly folded themselves beside me and I turned to look; Nathan looked starkly clean compared to me, his skin almost glowing in freshness, his hair dripping at the ends showing he had come here straight from the washing area. He smiled warmly, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me close, kissing the top of my head.
“Ok?”
I smiled, feeling a surge of affection for him rush through me, glad he was safe, “Yes, you?”
“Fine – and squeaky clean to boot!”
I smiled wryly, “I’ll go there in a minute – we’re just waiting for the bacon.”
“Well you don’t think I came here to see you do you?” He jested and I nabbed an elbow into his ribs, grinning.
The meat sizzled and Joe eyed it, licking his lips,
“Joe – we don’t eat raw meat.” Rosa sighed
“It’s practically done!” He whined like a first year.
“Look,” Rosa took his hand and pulled him to his feet, “You can help me go get some water to drink and plates – Cassie, Dawn and Lara can watch the bacon.”
“Oh wait!” Lara piped up loudly, “I’ll join you on the way actually, I want to find Jack – he should be down here by now.”
Hauling Lara up, the trio trudged away, their voices soon lost in the general noise from around; the rumble of convocation from other sleeping areas, the thudding of walking people, zoon of crickets and grass hoppers, and ever so faintly, booms of explosions.
Dawn sighed, pulling her legs up to her chest like myself and stared into the flames, the light casting shadows on her face, her blue eyes unblinking. The tendons on her knuckles stood out whitely as she clenched her trousers material in her fists.
Cassie picked up a wooden fork and shifted the bacon around in the pan, ignoring its spits of fat and oil.
“You’re shaking.” Nathan said it more quietly than I’d ever heard him say anything before, into my head as he lowered his head to the side of mine.
“Ruff day.” I stated back, leaning my head against his in an almost nuzzling jester.
“Wana talk about it?”
“…Maybe later…”
The silence – if it could be called that – rushed back around us, accompanied by a pronunciation that dinner was ready, the delicious smell making my mouth water; we were forced to wait for the rest of our party to return, Nathan mumbling that he would eat it with his bare hands if they didn’t hurry up.
With a crackle of flames, Joe and Rosa flared into existence on the opposite side of the fire to me, the flames of the teleportation brightening the place for a few seconds before vanishing, Dawn turning away from the heat at their side.
“Lara’s staying with Jack tonight.” Rosa informed us, just speaking before Joe blurted in,
“Phew – I thought you would have scoffed the lot!” He said surprised with his eyebrows raised, throwing a wooden plate and fork to each of us.
“We’re not you Joe,” Nathan replied and I could tell by his tone he was smirking.
Joe barred his teeth and did a pathetic mock growl back; it would have made us all laugh normally, but a dull pound sounded through the air behind us, the sky lighting up a fiery red for a still moment, stealing the humour.
I gazed up at the stars overhead, shinning brightly in the clear dark sky. They strewed for as far as I could see, seeing so close, but yet so far at the same time, crushing the feeling of smallness of my mind. Blinking in wonder I realized that humans had actually managed to visits some of those, the bright lights hiding the fact they were lone planets hanging in space, that we had stretched our fingers that far seemed impossible.
Someone smoothly folded themselves beside me and I turned to look; Nathan looked starkly clean compared to me, his skin almost glowing in freshness, his hair dripping at the ends showing he had come here straight from the washing area. He smiled warmly, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me close, kissing the top of my head.
“Ok?”
I smiled, feeling a surge of affection for him rush through me, glad he was safe, “Yes, you?”
“Fine – and squeaky clean to boot!”
I smiled wryly, “I’ll go there in a minute – we’re just waiting for the bacon.”
“Well you don’t think I came here to see you do you?” He jested and I nabbed an elbow into his ribs, grinning.
The meat sizzled and Joe eyed it, licking his lips,
“Joe – we don’t eat raw meat.” Rosa sighed
“It’s practically done!” He whined like a first year.
“Look,” Rosa took his hand and pulled him to his feet, “You can help me go get some water to drink and plates – Cassie, Dawn and Lara can watch the bacon.”
“Oh wait!” Lara piped up loudly, “I’ll join you on the way actually, I want to find Jack – he should be down here by now.”
Hauling Lara up, the trio trudged away, their voices soon lost in the general noise from around; the rumble of convocation from other sleeping areas, the thudding of walking people, zoon of crickets and grass hoppers, and ever so faintly, booms of explosions.
Dawn sighed, pulling her legs up to her chest like myself and stared into the flames, the light casting shadows on her face, her blue eyes unblinking. The tendons on her knuckles stood out whitely as she clenched her trousers material in her fists.
Cassie picked up a wooden fork and shifted the bacon around in the pan, ignoring its spits of fat and oil.
“You’re shaking.” Nathan said it more quietly than I’d ever heard him say anything before, into my head as he lowered his head to the side of mine.
“Ruff day.” I stated back, leaning my head against his in an almost nuzzling jester.
“Wana talk about it?”
“…Maybe later…”
The silence – if it could be called that – rushed back around us, accompanied by a pronunciation that dinner was ready, the delicious smell making my mouth water; we were forced to wait for the rest of our party to return, Nathan mumbling that he would eat it with his bare hands if they didn’t hurry up.
With a crackle of flames, Joe and Rosa flared into existence on the opposite side of the fire to me, the flames of the teleportation brightening the place for a few seconds before vanishing, Dawn turning away from the heat at their side.
“Lara’s staying with Jack tonight.” Rosa informed us, just speaking before Joe blurted in,
“Phew – I thought you would have scoffed the lot!” He said surprised with his eyebrows raised, throwing a wooden plate and fork to each of us.
“We’re not you Joe,” Nathan replied and I could tell by his tone he was smirking.
Joe barred his teeth and did a pathetic mock growl back; it would have made us all laugh normally, but a dull pound sounded through the air behind us, the sky lighting up a fiery red for a still moment, stealing the humour.
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Trenches part 1
Jumping down into the trench, one hand sliding down the damp earthy wall, I felt my legs shaking when they hit the ground. It was an odd feeling, like someone had grabbed hold of my ankles and was shaking my legs for all they were worth.
Around me others were falling into the trenches; their eyes wide and weary, looking nervously around for friends, all covered in grim and dirt.
I was glad I wasn’t the only who was shaking.
Much cleaner, much more nervous looking people were lined around me, their first foot resting on the bottom most wooden slats of the ladders, about to scrabbled out of safety and into the fighting zone, or more commonly called ‘No man’s land’ and into a shift of hell.
They were worse this time. No one said it, but everyone was thinking it. There was more of the shining monsters, more bombs were crashing around up there and the pellet machines were throwing out their deadly spits. The air seemed full of energy, as if a thunderstorm was about to downpour on us all, the booms and echoing sounds of explosions, yells and thuds reaching us.
With the last few members jumping down into safety, the ones lining up flung themselves at the ladders, hosting their bodies up and over the earth mound, vanishing in a moments, others close on their heels.
“Good work guys.” I smiled weakly at the group of people around me, the ladder bounced one last time as the final fighter took their weight off it. I got few replies, mostly grunts and inclines of heads.
They trudged off to the right and left, rubbing sore spots, grumbling and wanting a wash and were the hell their friends were.
I took a moment to just simply stand on my own, not moving along just yet. My legs were trembling slightly still, my heart thumping madly as if I was still fighting. Taking a few deep reliving breathes I rubbed at my face with two hands, itching my tired eyes. My ears still rang softly from my last encounter with a bomb but I really didn’t want to go to the infirmary yet – it would be full of pain filled screams, bleeding limbs, dazed and confused eyes rolling around and…the still forms, sheets covering them. Then again, it would always be like that, no matter what time of the day or night.
Dropping my hands, I pushed off from the damp wall behind me and turned left, my feet padding along the wooden slates, keeping to the left hand side so avoid bashing into anyone from the other direction.
Most people were heading away from the front of the trenches, to the back of them were they stretched for almost quarter of a mile, turns shafting off in both ways; some lead to eating sections, other to the teachers area, causally named the blocks, where all planning was made by the commanders and teachers, then at the very back, trying to gain some silence, the sleeping areas; the sides of the trenches still towering above the walkways, small to large areas filled with blankets and small fires.
For now, I was contended to walk, to keep wondering to anywhere my legs chose, lost in my thoughts of my resent shift fighting. I always did it, not out of orders or anything like that, but I always found myself replaying the fighting over in my heads, questioning if I had made the right moves, if I should have order someone different. It never did much damage – only when someone died in the unit I was commanding. But then, after Andrew having some very forceful talks with me, I just had to accept it was the way things went – how that person fought or factors out of my control which lead to their dead. The good thing about it helped show light on any faults in my fighting, how I could have done a move differently or different sequences that would have worked.
Lost in my thoughts, I drifted along the trenches, passing all fellow fighters, some equally thinking, others talking, planning, some disusing events, a few grumbled. None laughed.
A glow of light coming into my side vision, I glanced up, to find I had walked to the sleeping areas, or more precisely the small section me and my friends had clamed for our stay on the front lines.
It was just like the rest; high earth walls in front and to the left and right of me, forming a circle, in the middle, a stack of glowing logs, grey smoking drifting lazily upwards. Sleeping mats – a stretch of bound together reeds lay upon the cold ground, blankets strewn across in an untidy mess – well, all except one, which was folded neatly.
Striding to the fire, I slumped down at its side feeling the warmth trying to soak into me. Sighing, and cursing the person who had let the fire almost burn out, I stumbled up, grabbed a few logs from the side and threw them onto the glowing wood, poking it around with a short metal rod to make the sparks fly.
“Hey ho.” A voice called behind me.
Looking over my shoulder I saw a huddle of people who all smiled warmly and joined me, sinking down onto the ground and sighing happily at finally being able to relax. Rosa sat with her legs crossed; holding her hands to the fire to warm them, Cassie with one leg stretched flat out, the other upright and her arms encased around it, leading forwards, and her chin on her knee. Dawn with her legs splayed at her side, hands loosely in her lap, and Lara both legs spread straight out, like one of Cassies, looking like a young child.
“Joe and Nathan will be here in a sec – they said something about finding beacon…” Rosa titled her head to me, smiling.
“Sounds nice.” I mumbled, drawing my legs up to me and wrapping my arms around them. I could still feel them shaking slightly.
“How’d the fighting go?” I asked my friends.
“Excellent!” Lara grinned cheerily, “Worked in a team this time – worked really well!”
“Yer – until you Tilly joined the group – I thought you were going to get your head chopped off coz you were doing more laughing than fighting!” Rosa said, but grinned at Lara to let her know she was joking.
“Oh Heather!” Dawn said excitedly, “I had a go at stick fighting – Matt threw one to me and I used it to fight off a few Bots!”
I gave her a wry smile, but couldn’t help feeling like reprimanding her – out on the front lines was not a place to try new fighting tactics.
“All went A Ok.” Cassie drew my attention to her, shrugging happily, “How about you?”
I opened my mouth to reply ‘fine’ but was interrupted by a yell
“I BRING BACON!”
Joe ran into the circle, skidding to a halt beside Rosa and literally throwing himself on the floor. He pecked Rosa on the cheek quickly then thudded a frying pan onto the fire, complete with strips of meat.
“We shall eat like Kings tonight!” He declared in a loud voice, grinning widely at us all.
“Not if Rosa cooks.” Dawn muttered.
Rosa stuck out her tongue at Dawn, who just smiled charmingly back.
Around me others were falling into the trenches; their eyes wide and weary, looking nervously around for friends, all covered in grim and dirt.
I was glad I wasn’t the only who was shaking.
Much cleaner, much more nervous looking people were lined around me, their first foot resting on the bottom most wooden slats of the ladders, about to scrabbled out of safety and into the fighting zone, or more commonly called ‘No man’s land’ and into a shift of hell.
They were worse this time. No one said it, but everyone was thinking it. There was more of the shining monsters, more bombs were crashing around up there and the pellet machines were throwing out their deadly spits. The air seemed full of energy, as if a thunderstorm was about to downpour on us all, the booms and echoing sounds of explosions, yells and thuds reaching us.
With the last few members jumping down into safety, the ones lining up flung themselves at the ladders, hosting their bodies up and over the earth mound, vanishing in a moments, others close on their heels.
“Good work guys.” I smiled weakly at the group of people around me, the ladder bounced one last time as the final fighter took their weight off it. I got few replies, mostly grunts and inclines of heads.
They trudged off to the right and left, rubbing sore spots, grumbling and wanting a wash and were the hell their friends were.
I took a moment to just simply stand on my own, not moving along just yet. My legs were trembling slightly still, my heart thumping madly as if I was still fighting. Taking a few deep reliving breathes I rubbed at my face with two hands, itching my tired eyes. My ears still rang softly from my last encounter with a bomb but I really didn’t want to go to the infirmary yet – it would be full of pain filled screams, bleeding limbs, dazed and confused eyes rolling around and…the still forms, sheets covering them. Then again, it would always be like that, no matter what time of the day or night.
Dropping my hands, I pushed off from the damp wall behind me and turned left, my feet padding along the wooden slates, keeping to the left hand side so avoid bashing into anyone from the other direction.
Most people were heading away from the front of the trenches, to the back of them were they stretched for almost quarter of a mile, turns shafting off in both ways; some lead to eating sections, other to the teachers area, causally named the blocks, where all planning was made by the commanders and teachers, then at the very back, trying to gain some silence, the sleeping areas; the sides of the trenches still towering above the walkways, small to large areas filled with blankets and small fires.
For now, I was contended to walk, to keep wondering to anywhere my legs chose, lost in my thoughts of my resent shift fighting. I always did it, not out of orders or anything like that, but I always found myself replaying the fighting over in my heads, questioning if I had made the right moves, if I should have order someone different. It never did much damage – only when someone died in the unit I was commanding. But then, after Andrew having some very forceful talks with me, I just had to accept it was the way things went – how that person fought or factors out of my control which lead to their dead. The good thing about it helped show light on any faults in my fighting, how I could have done a move differently or different sequences that would have worked.
Lost in my thoughts, I drifted along the trenches, passing all fellow fighters, some equally thinking, others talking, planning, some disusing events, a few grumbled. None laughed.
A glow of light coming into my side vision, I glanced up, to find I had walked to the sleeping areas, or more precisely the small section me and my friends had clamed for our stay on the front lines.
It was just like the rest; high earth walls in front and to the left and right of me, forming a circle, in the middle, a stack of glowing logs, grey smoking drifting lazily upwards. Sleeping mats – a stretch of bound together reeds lay upon the cold ground, blankets strewn across in an untidy mess – well, all except one, which was folded neatly.
Striding to the fire, I slumped down at its side feeling the warmth trying to soak into me. Sighing, and cursing the person who had let the fire almost burn out, I stumbled up, grabbed a few logs from the side and threw them onto the glowing wood, poking it around with a short metal rod to make the sparks fly.
“Hey ho.” A voice called behind me.
Looking over my shoulder I saw a huddle of people who all smiled warmly and joined me, sinking down onto the ground and sighing happily at finally being able to relax. Rosa sat with her legs crossed; holding her hands to the fire to warm them, Cassie with one leg stretched flat out, the other upright and her arms encased around it, leading forwards, and her chin on her knee. Dawn with her legs splayed at her side, hands loosely in her lap, and Lara both legs spread straight out, like one of Cassies, looking like a young child.
“Joe and Nathan will be here in a sec – they said something about finding beacon…” Rosa titled her head to me, smiling.
“Sounds nice.” I mumbled, drawing my legs up to me and wrapping my arms around them. I could still feel them shaking slightly.
“How’d the fighting go?” I asked my friends.
“Excellent!” Lara grinned cheerily, “Worked in a team this time – worked really well!”
“Yer – until you Tilly joined the group – I thought you were going to get your head chopped off coz you were doing more laughing than fighting!” Rosa said, but grinned at Lara to let her know she was joking.
“Oh Heather!” Dawn said excitedly, “I had a go at stick fighting – Matt threw one to me and I used it to fight off a few Bots!”
I gave her a wry smile, but couldn’t help feeling like reprimanding her – out on the front lines was not a place to try new fighting tactics.
“All went A Ok.” Cassie drew my attention to her, shrugging happily, “How about you?”
I opened my mouth to reply ‘fine’ but was interrupted by a yell
“I BRING BACON!”
Joe ran into the circle, skidding to a halt beside Rosa and literally throwing himself on the floor. He pecked Rosa on the cheek quickly then thudded a frying pan onto the fire, complete with strips of meat.
“We shall eat like Kings tonight!” He declared in a loud voice, grinning widely at us all.
“Not if Rosa cooks.” Dawn muttered.
Rosa stuck out her tongue at Dawn, who just smiled charmingly back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)