trenches part 3

We ate in quiet, more faint explosions reaching our ears, the sky lighting occasionally, as if the sun was having a battle and trying to come back up. As I finished eating and put my plate on the ground before me, I listened; the popping sounds of the pellet machines audible.

There was little to do once the food was eaten; gratefully leaving Nathan to clean up the utensils, me and Joe transported the rest to the wash up area. It was split into two parts, a thick section of earth wall protruding into the roughly square area. The closest to the entrance was used by the teleporters – I’d been there several times already. Five people stood in a circle with buckets of water, the teleport would run to the middle, the buckets would be throw from all the different directions, water hurling into the person. It served to wash off the metal gas the Bots were more and more frequently, somehow, letting into the air, stopping us teleporting.

The second half of the place was used by everyone in the trenches; a trough of water at one end which hands or feet could be washed in. Several lines with attached lengths of material had been strung from the top of the earth trenches to form crude curtains and people crouched over head, buckets at the ready. All people had to do was strip to their underwear, and rubbed the mud and grime off as the water was thrown over them.

In winter the act was abandoned; the freezing weather making it impossible unless you wanted to suffer a cold or pneumonia afterwards. People just had to go dirty for their time on the front lines – disgusting, but better than dying of cold.

Once back in our area, we returned to the not necessarily wanted warmth, but comfort of the fire and settled down; sometimes there was time when you were so shattered, all you would do was crawl under a blanket and fall asleep, but then again it was nice to split the cycle up of fighting, eating, sleeping, fighting, eating, sleeping.

Dawn lay on her front, a light coloured paperback book a few inches from her nose, her eyes shifting across the page as she took in the small print, her ankles crossed in the air and swaying backwards and forwards slightly.

Cassie too was reading, though she sat cross legged, facing the fire, a much thicker book than Dawn’s in her lap, her loose hair falling around her face and hiding her features, her head resting on one curled hand.

Joe sat against the earth wall, flute to his lips playing a soft tune, not like his usual jaunty one, his eyes trained on the flames of the fire, lost in though, Rosa leaning against his side, mirroring Joe’s posture by having her legs splayed on flat, singing along quietly to the melody of the flute, staring up into the night stars.

Nathan was busy tracing the outline of something on a light block of wood, his sharp knife reflecting the fire light. He sat leaning against the wall like Joe, but with his legs crossed, his hands held close to his eyes, his jaw firm and watching his activity intently. I had never understood how he could look at a block of wood, begin to chip away little bits, taking a scrape off there, a nick on the other side, and a form would begin to be visible, wither a animal, or small wooden pendant to put on a necklace.

Rarely I would attempt to read a book, but I had yet to actually finish one. I personally blamed my ears – they just seemed to pick up all other noises around, never letting me really get into the story. Tonight, I preferred to wrap a blanket around me, lay close to Nathan, and close my eyes, listening to the small noises of my friends around me and the flute and the song. I thought back to memories; some happy, some sad, confused and lost - most of times I had forgotten – the little snippets which help make up a day but are easily lost.

As the night grew on, the others put down their occupations and joined me on the ground, all merging together in a mass. It wasn’t cold, well not at least to justify doing the action for warmth, but like the fire, it was more out of comfort than heat.

I lay my head on Nathan’s stomach and curled to face him in the glow of the firelight, taking a strong arm and wrapping mine around it. Pulling my legs up to my chest, I placed one slightly in front of the other, and Cassie rested her head on the furthest one back, Dawn behind her, Joe and Rosa laying together on Nathan’s other side.

I felt a hand pull lightly at a width of hair and Nathan’s fingers twirled it around. I smiled, sure that he would see it. He would fiddle with my hair back at the school in the dorm, his or mine, when we wanted company and went to the other, not always when he was nervous, but when he was not quiet ready to sleep.

Yawning, I closed my eyes against the night and tried to block out the sounds of fighting and wildlife. The nights on the front lines always seemed daunting If it was your first time, but gradually it became easier and easier. It helped to focus on the things around you as such as the wind, the crackling of a fire, or the breathing of friends.

“Did you lose anyone today?”

I groaned, “Nathan,” I mumbled, “I was so close to falling asleep then!”

“Well everyone else has drifted off, and well…we won’t get a chance to talk on our own for ages.” I felt him lightly twirling a strand of my hair.

I forced myself to wake up a bit; blinking hard. I knew he was right. If fact if I hadn’t pleaded so hard with Andrew anyway, Nathan wouldn’t be on the front lines at all, rather out in a raiding party. It may have seemed the wrong thing to ask for, but what with Front lines, then me going on a raid the day after we would get back to the school, then a trading mission, there wasn’t going to be a lot of time to be with him.

“Sorry.” I apologized, taking his free hand in mine, feeling the rough fingertips curtsy of all the whittling he did.

“Don’t worry my wildcat.” He said and I knew he was smiling, “So, what happened out there?” His voice was soft but never the less I found it slightly demeaning, knowing he was really asking why my legs had been shaking.

“Everyone’s shake – not just mine!” I said defensibly, glancing up at him with a frown.

“But I’m asking why yours were.” He meet and held my gaze, his fingers stopping their playing through my hair.

Turning my head I went back to staring over his stomach, clenching my teeth for a moment before saying, “We had to re-treat,” I found it hard to talk.

“Ohh…” He sighed, understanding. He paused for a moment, his fingers starting up again, “You know Heather, there’s nothing bad about having to retreat from them – it shows a good decision; that you weren’t going to risk fighting against a too larger number of them.”

“That’s not the point!” I snapped, glaring into the earth mount as if it had personally done me a wrong, “Running away from them means there still around and able to hurt people!”

He sighed again, “But it’s not just that is it?”

I didn’t answer, gritting my teeth shut.

“You don’t have to hide fear with anger,” He whispered. He drew his arms around me and pulled me further up his torso, so that I was on his chest instead of his stomach, “Its scary having to turn your back on them, that was what was wrong wasn’t it?”

I curled a hand into his jumper material and buried my face closer to his body, feeling the fear wash through me again, “They chased us for ages – I could hear them crashing around behind us and they were getting closer and closer! I yelled at the others to run faster but we couldn’t! And I was covered in that metal gas stuff from when the released it just after midday, so I couldn’t just swirl us all out of there!”

“So what did you do? You were out in the woodland area in the east weren’t you?”

I nodded, “We were just before one of the small streams there, and I knew we couldn’t outrun them, so I called for a halt then motioned them to get in the trees. We managed to hide in the foliage just before they reached us. They kept running on, and I thought they’d gone, but then we heard them coming back. I don’t know how they knew – maybe because they couldn’t see or hear us anymore, but they came back and started walking around near us.”
“From the sun I guess we stayed there about an hour, with them walking around underneath us. Then one of the branches creaked a person was standing on – and the Bots looked up. I swear, I have never…” My breath seemed to catch in my chest and I couldn’t go on.

Nathan gripped my hand tightly, “I know how you felt – about a year ago the group I was in had to do exactly that. They stare at you don’t they, just standing underneath you and looking up.”

I nodded shakily, “It’s the stare that does it. They know they can’t reach you, but they just stand there and stare – and wait. I yelled for Andrew and he sent someone. They brought buckets of water and chucked them over me and the others to get the gas stuff off, then we teleported back to just in front of the trenches.”

“Oh that odd sense thing he’s got?” Nathan asked.

“That’s it – can’t remember what its called though. But yer – he must have kinder sensed me through that and knew what was happening”

We laid in silence for a minute, both going through our past experiences. It went against everything we had been taught from the ages of ten to turn and run from Bots – to turn your back on them and present your neck, the most easiest way for them to kill you.